I Lift My Eyes Unto the Hills...

In light of my last post-- a plea for help-- I would be remiss to not share my experience from tonight. I should back up a bit though, to share the whole story:

Before Friday I had no doubts that all of the money would come in on time. In fact, I figured that by Friday over and above the necessary amount was probably flowing in. Then I received the update. $215? There must be something wrong, I thought. Maybe that's $2,150? Just a couple hundred to go, right...? What went wrong? I had done the calculations. I knew the faithfulness of my friends. What was going on?

I decided to try to just wait it out over the weekend and not think about the situation too much. (that was my idea of "trusting in God" and "not worrying." My plan was to avoid thinking about it at all.) People would come through. There was still time.

Yesterday one of my Spearhead leaders sent me some information over e-mail and then by phone advised me to contact my supporters again. In dismay at the brevity of time in which I needed to raise support, I wrote the reminder e-mail today. God was already moving in my heart though, even as I surrendered to the realization that I can't orchestrate all of the details in my life. I can (and should) plan... but then I need to trust God with the outcome. First lesson.

Second lesson: God has better plans for me than I have for myself. I was reading in Matthew 6 today about God's provision for the "birds of the air" and the "grass of the field" and was reminded that I should not worry about my life, what I will eat or drink or wear... or about support raising. If He wants something to happen, it will happen. Thus, if He wants me in Mexico on September 20th... He'll get me there! I also was talking with a friend about finances today and God reminded me of Psalm 121:

¹ I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Doesn't get much more comforting than that!

So, I went from self-sufficiency to despair to trust. All before I sent the letter. My e-mail went out at 7:58 and by 9:00 I had already received numerous e-mails pledging both financial and prayer support; God was confirming that He hadn't forgotten about me.

I'm honestly thankful for the uncertainty that He has allowed me to experience (and continue to experience) because it has made me break some of my dependence on myself and realize His goodness in providing for me. It also gives me experience from which to encourage others who are struggling with the same situation... and glorify God's name among those who aren't (currently!)

Thanks to all of my supporters (both financial and spiritual). You are a part of something really important that God is doing in my life and are a beautiful manifestation of the hands and feet of Christ!