I have a a hard time giving. And I don't just mean donating money or giving birthday presents. I mean:
I have a hard time listening
I have a hard time thanking people
I have a hard time tithing
We live in a day and age when life is so fast paced and there are so many burdens on us. We don't have the time, mental capacity, or desire to contribute to anything that doesn't hold promise for us. No, wait, I'll make that statement personal. I have a hard time contributing to to anything that doesn't hold promise for me.
Really, even as I write those words, I know that this isn't some new phenomenon particular to this generation. It's not about social pressures or the pace of life. It's really just the disease of selfishness. Why pay someone back now? That's certainly not the most pressing need for these 50 pesos. Why write that encouragement note? I have more important e-mails to cross off my list. And when I get home at night? No, I'm too exhausted at that point to think about anything else. Regardless of the excuses I make, when I really stop to be honest with myself, I see through the mask. I find that so often the things that get pushed to the back of my schedule aren't there because of a "lack of time" but rather a lack of gumption. They are there because mentally they are less important to me than "my stuff."
So, why do I bare my soul on the Internet for you all? First, to hold myself accountable as to what I need to be working on. Second, as a call to action for any of you who struggle with the same thing. Together let's focus on putting the important things first. And if our actions reflect that what is most important to us is not God and others, maybe we should start by rethinking that.
