I Can't Do This!!

There have been so many times since I started this role as interim director (just over a month ago!) that I have thought, "I can't do this!  I'm going crazy!  I'm so unprepared!".  The needs of the team, both in a regular rhythm, as well as in the midst of their personal crises; two earthquakes, plus a third earthquake alarm; days and long nights of being seriously on edge; criticisms and gracelessness; endless responsibilities and accompanying failures; I could go on.  I have had so many doubts about my ability to do this job well, and they seem to be reinforced by every failure I have or by any off-handed comment that someone makes.

What I keep coming back to, though, what I MUST keep coming back to, is that God's strength is made perfect in my weakness.  Where I can't, God can.  Perhaps this is just working in me a humility that will run to Him in prayer and dependence.  A willingness to seek the counsel of others who are older and wiser.  Though I may not come through this year as a glowing model of heroic action in leadership, I pray that I will do good to those around me, and become more conformed to the image of Christ.  If this comes to pass, then this year will have been a success!

I am including a video that a friend shared for our worship time yesterday, and it seems to really describe where my life is right now.  Hard, but good.