November Update Letter That Got Lost in the Void

The Goodness of the Lord

My last email was somewhat of a discouraged, disorganized mess.  And it pretty accurately reflected the state of my heart at the time.  I was burnt out and struggling even to be coherent.  What a difference a few short weeks can witness!  For the past month or so, I have been focusing on the goodness of the Lord and the gifts that He gives us.  What started out as a training for our team to curb complaining has become a tremendous gift to me as I have realized how much I tend to complain, and have been afforded the opportunity to bless our good God, instead! 

What I didn't share....

Every time I have been faced with something that seems way too big to handle, and I have had no clue as to how I should proceed, I can always look back on how God has provided exactly what I have needed at exactly the right time.  He has faithfully provided host families for our team, He saw to it that we were all safely together (and with older, wiser Christian leaders) during the earthquake, He has provided each and every specific answer to every single difficulty I have faced this year.  While it can feel natural to fall into complaining that I have faced trials, I would be sorely remiss to ignore the God who has faithfully carried me through each of them! 

Give Thanks!

I would love to know how I can join you in thanking the Lord!  If you are up for it, please share with me an area where you find it hard to be thankful.  I will be happy to pray for you about that.

I am so thankful for all of you!  It was a huge encouragement to receive your emails and other messages, especially when I was feeling so discouraged at the beginning of this school year. 

The City Dances

Mexico City dances all the time. 

Almost every bus driver has dance music playing in his vehicle, weaving in and out of traffic with thrilling -- and, at times, chilling -- precision. 

Even crossing the road here is a kind of dance.  There are never any true pedestrian crossings, so when a large enough group of people assembles on the side of the street, they take their turn to cross while the drivers obediently wait for them.  No lights or guards are needed to direct the people.  There is a collective unspoken sense of timing.

Daily I experience the serendipity (or sometimes confusion) of unforeseen changes in rhythm.  They all add to the beauty of the daily push, pull, and turns of life here.

Conversations have a rhythm and a flow.  They are a combination of set traditions combined with witty twists, which often culminate in uninhibited laughter.  This pattern of riffing on a theme creates both structure and freshness in every interaction. 

Twist. Turn. Sun. Rain. Laughter. Tears. Repeat. 

This cycle is an stirring song.

These steps are a beautiful dance.

Gratitude Challenge: Days 11-20

November 11 -- I thank God for the pain of goodbyes, because they make me treasure my loved ones even more!

November 12 -- I thank God for plans that fall through and situations that seem like a disaster ... because God's plans are always better than my plans. Just as He has always been faithful in the past, He will continue to be faithful in the future!

November 13 -- I thank God that His standards of "what is good" don't have to line up with ours. He so often blesses us in ways that we do not understand and may even interpret as a very bad result. Still, "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Rom. 8:28)

November 14 -- I thank God for time spent in public transportation, because, in a sense, it slows down the pace of life. It takes so much longer to get things done, that I feel a sense of peace and rest in knowing that it can’t all be done in a day. This is actually a very nice change, compared to the frantic pace that life can sometimes take in the States.

November 15 -- I thank God when I am stuck behind slow people because it means that I am physically healthy enough to be faster than they are. There was a time when I wasn’t. There was a time when I would look longingly at the senior from my church and envy them as they seemed to bound up the stairs while I was hobbling. There was a time that I would have to sit and rest after walking for 1 minute. Praise God that I can now walk quickly! May I have grace and compassion with others who cannot.

November 16: Faith is not the belief that God will do what you WANT; It is the belief that God will do what is RIGHT! -- Max Lucado

November 17: I thank God that He allows us to make mistakes. While they are embarrassing and sometimes painful, they are also often some of the best lessons that I have learned.

November 18: I thank God for scars. (For more on this, see my post about "Scars and Thankfulness.")

November 19 -- I thank God for my weaknesses, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. My weakness draws me close to Him, and that is the greatest gift that anyone can have – to see their need of God!

November 20 -- I thank God for my constantly dripping sink because the pitcher under it reminds me to water my plants. My plants are also thankful for this arrangement.

Gratitude Challenge: Days 1-10

This month, I have joined many in doing a "Thanksgiving Challenge."*  However, the theme that I specifically chose was: "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess. 5:18

Recently, the girls on the team and I have been studying complaining and contentment, and I have been convicted of how often I complain. Therefore, during this Thanksgiving season, I don’t want to stop at merely mentioning the readily apparent gifts for which it is so easy to be grateful (family, friends, the love of God, comforts, etc), but, rather, examine some areas where I could be tempted to complain and then thank God for even those things!


November 1: I thank God that He allows us to forget and heal from painful experiences. The pain is not always as acute, though it may still be there. (Two big things that I am thinking of specifically are physical pain, as from my surgeries a couple of years ago, as well as the emotional pain and fear from the earthquake in Mexico City a month and a half ago.)

November 2: I thank God for circumstances that try my patience, because I know that each one is an opportunity to trust Him and to grow in Christ-likeness!

November 3: I thank God for my tiny house, because it is so easy to clean!

November 4: I thank God when things break, because it reveals where my treasure lies. As when Jonah’s plant wilted and he threw a hissy fit, I see myself doing the same thing, so often. My heart is tied to earthly things, but when they break, it sheds light on my inordinate affections and gives me a chance to look to the things that really matter!

November 5: I thank God that the church is sometimes kinda messy, this side of Heaven. It reminds me that I fit right in, and that you don’t need to be perfect to come to God or be a part of His Bride. It is also, in a sense, a vehicle of sanctification, as the faults and weaknesses of others so often bring out our own faults and weaknesses and give us the perfect opportunity to surrender them to the Lord. I thank God that, working through hard seasons in the church makes the seasons of peace and unity that much sweeter.

November 6: I thank God when people are so different from me that I can barely understand them (...and sometimes they rub me the wrong way). It reminds me that I am not the plumb-line of the universe, and that people aren’t obligated to be like me. It humbles me to realize that their very differences are often what qualify them to do amazing things that I never could. That God’s Body -- and His world, in general -- work best when there is diversity. It is also helpful to remember that diversity doesn't undermine the concept of unity!

November 7: I thank God for how tired our bodies get at night, because it reminds me that, while He is infinite, I am finite. And I am reminded that He keeps the world running even when I sleep.  ;-) And, I love how He gives us rest which renews us.

November 8: I am thankful for people in my life who complain and grumble all the time, because they motivated me to dive into the study and pursuit of thankfulness! (Which was a real reality check to me to admit how BAD at this I really am, myself!)

November 9: I thank God that, even on the days when I am ungrateful, He is still gracious!! I recently heard a quote that went something like: "If your comforts tomorrow depended on your gratitude today, how much would you have left tomorrow?" What a convicting word!

Still, I praise God that my standing in Him depends entirely on Christ’s finished work, not my ability (or inability!!) to live in a manner worthy of the Gospel! Everything that I have is by His grace, not my merit!

November 10: I thank God for circumstances that “make me late” because it is a reminder that, in most cases, I am late because I didn’t plan well, not because fate conspired against me. ;-)  It is a reality check for me that I need to take responsibility for my actions, not blame others who were simply stand-still bystanders. It's also a reminder to check my attitude and see others as human beings with a vast array of life circumstances ... rather than obstacles in my way!

*These posts originally appeared on my Facebook, so if they seem familiar, maybe that is why!  ;-) 

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed a dream

As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,

One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,

especially at the very lowest and saddest times,

there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,

You'd walk with me all the way.

But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you

Never, ever, during your trials and testings.

When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you."

God Is Our Refuge and Strength

  

Psalm 46 

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam,

though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy habitation of the Most High.

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;

God will help her when morning dawns.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;

he utters his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord,

how he has brought desolations on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the chariots with fire.

“Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”

The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

************

One of my friends on the Avance team read this passage to us as we were standing outside of the building where we had the meeting, following the earthquake.  The words of this psalm have certainly taken on new meaning for me since that time!  Though things on earth may fall apart, nations rage, and waters roar and foam, God is in control.  I can be still and rest and know that He is God.  I am free to not fear.  What a blessing!  

Missionary or Hero?

Another lingering question after the earthquake is:  What is the appropriate response for a missionary after a natural disaster like this?  Does Avance abandon standard Avance practice and strike out on our own to go "save the world?"  Many people were rushing around doing things in the days right after the earthquake, but there actually got to be too many piles of food in some places, and so many volunteers that they were jeopardizing the rescue operations.  The military and police crews even had to block people from entering.

There were so many truly heroic first responders who literally removed rubble by hand to aid in the rescue efforts of those trapped under buildings, and I am so truly impressed by how the city immediately mobilized.  Mexico has my heart, my love, my compassion, and my respect!  I think that I am just trying to figure out what my role is in the midst of all of this. 

I have been struggling with people's comments that we should have sent the team into the rubble as soon as the earthquake hit.  My duty was to keep the team safe, though, and honestly, what would they have been able to accomplish anyway?  They are all barely out of college (one barely out of high school!), and may don't even speak enough Spanish to interact with rescue teams anyway.  In addition to breaking faith with their families back home, I'm not sure that they would have even made enough of a difference to justify it!

This is an ongoing question for me moving forward, as I am trying to be faithful to my current role as Avance interim director, but also wondering what more I can be doing to bless this country and aid in rescue efforts.  It's hard to avoid the desire to do grand, noble, visible work, in favor of quiet, behind the scenes, but necessary work.  Please pray for me, and for our team, as we try to find this balance.