Depending on God

When we trust God to provide, we are also submitting to His choice of what’s important.  It’s like trusting our parents with our money.  When we have to ask them for money, we also are placing ourselves under their judgment of what is important.  If we have a separate bank account, we don’t have to run our purchases by them, because it’s our money to do with it what we will.  They don’t have to give their blessing or even their approval.

I think that the same thing can be said of our dependence on God.  When we can say “I earned this,” we feel that we have the right to tell God, you can’t stop me from buying this house/this car/this TV/this coffee.  It’s our money and we can spend it how we like.  From a missionary perspective, it is very clear how everything I have is “from God’s hand,” and in light of that, I feel like I have a real responsibility before God and before my supporters to spend it wisely.  I truly believe that is one of the roadblocks to people who are considering missions.  I can even say that personally.  I have thought before that it would just be really nice to have a job where I could get a paycheck for the work that I do, then tithe and feel like I have done all that I should in regards to my finances … without worrying about whether it or not I it is legitimate to spend the remaining money on a new shirt.  Or to have to pray that God would provide me with money for a plane ticket to visit my friends.  Those are the requests that you feel a little foolish about when you take them to God.  Maybe this is shallow, but I don’t have the resources to bypass the God component. 

It’s like asking your parents if they can buy you a pair of earrings.  You don’t really need them… but if you had the money you would just buy them for yourself… but you don’t have the money and you kind of want them.  That being said, I have noticed that it is my good parents’ pleasure to provide for me not only what I most need, but also what I want.  They are wise, but they are also generous.  So, no, they wouldn’t give me something that would jeopardize me, but they are willing to give me things that seems silly, just because I asked.

As I wrestle through this personally, I wonder what you think of our dependence on God.  Is it something that you think about often?  Do you see God as your provider or yourself?  Or your employer?  Food for thought.  J  

Remember

The first step towards thankfulness is to remember what God has done.  Too often, the busyness of life, and our own weak memories keep us from reflecting on all of the good things that God has given to us and all of the ways that He has worked in our lives.  Indeed, we often have an "easier" time remembering hurts done to us than remembering the blessings that God has given us, directly, or through other people.

The holiday season, from roughly Thanksgiving through New Years tends to be one of the busiest and most flustered times of the year for so many.  Hence, it is easy to forget God's graces even from one day to the next!  Yet, if we are intentional, this same time can provide unique opportunities for us to remember God's goodness.  Thanksgiving is a day set aside for thanking God for the sweet gifts that He constantly gives us.  Advent and Christmas are times of wonder as we reflect on the incredible mystery of God made man to redeem us.  Meditating on this unfathomable gift could not help but result in praise and thanksgiving to God.  And the turn of the year is a perfect time to reflect on God's faithfulness over the past 365 days, and to intentionally remember all that He has done.

So in this time of busyness, make time to stop and consider all that God has done for you.  May we cultivate hearts of thankfulness to the One who is infinitely worthy of thanks!

Scars and Thankfulness

I had an emergency abdominal surgery this past August and that led me into the hardest time of my life physically, to date.  After a few weeks of unremitting pain and exhaustion following the surgery, I had begun to wonder if I would ever feel normal again.  But, then, about five or six weeks into the recovery progress, I started to really feel much better.  By two months after the surgery, I felt basically normal again.  

It is now three months after the surgery, and all of my usual activities have resumed.  I am able to play Frisbee, drive a car, clean houses, dance, and even do crunches!  Most days it feels surreal to even think that three months ago, I was in debilitating pain and unable to leave the couch for even a couple of minutes.  

But then I see my scars.  

My scars are a reminder to stop and be thankful.  To remember where I had been, and to thank the Lord for His healing in my life.  I know that we often think of scars as painful reminders of difficult experiences that we have faced.  However, I think that it is equally necessary to see the hope in the scars:  they are reminders of difficult times, yes ... but they are difficult times that God brought us through!  

And the most important scars for which I am thankful are those that I never had to suffer.  On the cross, Jesus paid the physical as well as the spiritual penalty for my sin.  His body was beaten instead of mine, and His relationship with the Father was severed, as He received the wrath of God so that I wouldn't have to.  Now He is resurrected and glorified with the Father in Heaven.  However, even now, in His perfect body, He still bears scars that tell of His great obedience to His Father, and His great love for His people.  

Thank you, Lord, for scars! 

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?

18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. 28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts.

And I will show you a still more excellent way.

He Carries Me While I Walk

The popular poem “Footprints in the Sand” speaks of how sometimes in life we walk
with God, and other times, He carries us. While I appreciate the sentiment, I would say that in my life, God has carried me every step that I have walked!  My two years in Mexico were anything but the way that I had planned it. In fact, I went to Mexico as a missionary, without even planning to be a missionary! I just saw it as good ministry training for when I returned to the States. 

But God had other plans.

My one-summer commitment turned into a year, which turned into two years. All the while, I was feebly and fearfully trying to follow God. All the while, He was sovereignly leading me. Then came the advice of one of my leaders to return to the States and pursue further Biblical and counseling training which would serve me in future missions work. I had no idea what awaited me, or even whether I would return to the mission field after the end of three years’ schooling. I felt flighty and unsure of what my future would look like, so I just focused on being faithful in the present. And God continued to lead me.

This past May, I graduated from seminary with a Master’s of Theological Studies and an emphasis in Biblical counseling. I plan to be using that degree on the mission field in Mexico City as soon as I can finish fundraising and training for the position. I’m going under long-term status, with no idea what that is going to look like. I tell people that “long-term” just means “no fixed end date. Could be two years. Could be sixty!” Even though there is a huge degree of uncertainty as I stand here on the brink, I also am so excited. It is an incredible feeling to be so close to heading back to a country that I love so much. And I am thrilled to know that the same God who has carried me all of my life will also carry me in these next steps.

Advent: The God Who Waited

As we think about Christmas time and the season of Advent, the words "waiting" and "expectation" often come up.  They are things that we humans aren't very good at doing.  Still, the reflection that has been dominating my thoughts so much during this Advent season, is that we weren't the only ones waiting.  God was waiting, too.

When Jesus was born, He became subject to the limitations of time, for the first time in His timeless existence.  He wasn't born as the Teacher that we see in the Gospels.  He was born as a baby.  He had to "grow in wisdom and stature and favor, with God and man"(Luke 2:52).  This One had the greatest personal destiny of any human ever, and yet, He spent the first 30 years of His life doing mundane things, virtually none of which were even mentioned in any of the Gospels.  He was obedient to His parents, He was perfectly sinless, He was in continual relationship with His heavenly Father.  He ate, He drank, He slept, He worked.  Same thing, day in, and day out.  For thirty years.  

The Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Ancient of Days.  The Eternal I AM.  

In the mundane:  Jesus spent so much time walking from one place to another, talking with people, touching people, eating.  Who knows what He even did for the thirty years before His ministry started!  It is safe to imagine that He did what any other boy would have done.  He must have participated in the rhythms and ceremonies revolving around the Temple.  He spent 30 years graciously walking and talking with His creatures.  He likely spent time learning Joseph's trade of carpentry.  Setting the table with His mother perhaps?  Mending holes in the roof.  The humdrum daily stuff of life that is anything but glamorous.  Tasks that seemed to suit neither a King nor a Savior.  A Servant, maybe...

In His mission:  It is extraordinary that even when it was time for Him to begin His ministry, Jesus was still acutely aware of the timing and what would be appropriate.  When Mary asked Him to supply the guests with wine at the wedding in Cana (John 2), He told her that the hour had not yet come for Him, but complied and performed His first miracle.  The Author of Time was clearly committed to doing the right thing at the right time.  (Please also see my Walking Circumspectly post, where I address this more extensively).

In His misery:  Even Jesus' suffering and death on the cross is carefully recorded in it's units of time. He wept drops of blood and prayed to His Father on at least three separate occasions, without receiving the relief for which He pled (Matt. 26:39-45).  He was betrayed by Judas at the appointed hour (Matt. 26:45-49).  Each event of that terrible night unfolded with attention to the time.  When Jesus was on the cross, there was darkness in the land from "the sixth hour to the ninth hour. (Matt. 27:45).  We are told of how long it took for the Son of God to be dragged from one place to another, on trial, in mockings and beatings.  Before we see Jesus' final victory in the resurrection, there are even three days of silence as His body lay still in the tomb.  This slow passage of time was all part of the Eternal One's plan.  And it was necessary for God to wait.  

Jesus patiently and actively endured to the end, fulfilling all righteousness, in the span of time that was given to Him.  May we draw tremendous encouragement in knowing that our Savior can sympathize with our struggles to wait patiently.  He has experienced them to a far greater degree than we will ever know!  We have only ever known an existence within time.  Jesus did not.  May that knowledge strengthen our resolve as we wait for things in this life, as well as for Christ's final restoration of all things, Finally, may we allow this meditation to lead us to worship Christ even more!  May we praise our God for His tender compassion of joining us in our waiting!  

Things I Love About Mexico

People always ask me what I love most about Mexico, or what I'll miss most.  So here's a little list for you:

1.  My Mexican family (families!).  As part of Avance, we live with Mexican families.  This is such a priceless gift, I cannot even begin to describe it!  This practice of Avance has the pragmatic effect of allowing participants to learn the language and culture at a much faster rate in an immersion setting.  However, it is so much more than that.  When away from my own dear, precious family, I have lived in homes with adoptive parents and siblings, who have welcomed me in, despite huge cultural and communication obstacles.  They have loved me and accepted me, allowing me to join into their daily lives.  I have spent many an evening talking, praying, laughing, and crying with these families.  My families.  This is undoubtedly the part of Mexico that I will miss the most.  Every time.

2.  My friends.  My friends come from all different areas.  Some are Avance missionaries, short and long term.  Others are friends from Bible studies, English classes, my mentoring group, or church.  Whatever the relationship, these are people who have sharpened me.  People with whom I have eaten tacos into all hours of the night; sharing deep spiritual growth sometimes, merely learning new idioms other times!

3. The food.  Ok, ok, you had to know that this was coming.  But seriously, unless you have been to Mexico City, you cannot even understand the extent of this one.  Food in the DF makes all other food seem like cardboard by comparison.  It's also WAY cheaper, generally.  Sigh.  To prove this to you, I will try to make food for as many takers as I can when I get home.  Then you will begin to get a glimpse.  

Ok, I will try to add more to this list at a future date, when it is not 12:30 AM, but this is just a quick introduction for now.  If your curiosity is piqued by any of these, let me know.  I could really go on for hours, sharing personal anecdotes about each of the loved ones who was on my mind as I was writing this.  I can also cook a lot more Mexican food than ever before after this summer, so you should also try to get in on that action.  :-)